


Conversations with Someone Who Isn't There Yet

by rememberwhenyoutried



Series: Let There Be Light [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1425355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rememberwhenyoutried/pseuds/rememberwhenyoutried
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: just throwing this out there<br/>TG: but<br/>TG: what if<br/>TG: i could stop fighting being a girl</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations with Someone Who Isn't There Yet

**Author's Note:**

> In [An Earth-Shattering Confession](http://archiveofourown.org/works/999745/chapters/1984030), Dave is the trans guy who's got all the answers for Rose. But he wasn't always so suave, self-assured and (*cough*) confident.
> 
> I couldn't make this work with the timeline of the prequel I'm writing, so I thought it would be fun to give Dave his own mini-fic chronicling his transition.

turntechGodhead [TG] joined channel TransChat  
  
TG: hey  
TG: testing testing one two  
TG: yeah i know several numbers  
TG: be impressed  
TG: clear the floor because mixmaster strider is about to pull a total downer  
TG: my obsession and self hatred has a beat and you can dance to it  
TG: ok it doesnt and you cant  
TG: but it should  
TG: that would be the most depressing dance number ever  
TG: get on the floor and look sad  
TG:   
TG: maybe later  
TG:   
TG: no one here  
TG: just the channel bot  
TG: good ok  
TG: i dont know how to start this but thats fine  
TG: no ones around to read this bullshit  
TG: all my vague gender related thrashing  
TG: look at me i fell off the nice pretty girl boat  
TG: now im waving my arms and panicking but nothings happening  
TG: yeah im sinking  
TG: throw me a classic yellow life ring i need to stay afloat a bit longer  
TG: this is part metaphor part confession because i cant say it to myself but maybe i can say it to nobody  
TG: hello my name is *cough* strider and im drowning in gender  
TG: or maybe i just surfaced  
TG: now ive got the genderbends  
TG: woah original  
TG: i dunno im not very committed to this tangent  
TG: seriously though who the fuck am i  
TG: it turns out making shitty comics and shittier remixes isnt very productive when it comes to figuring out gender  
TG: made some great shitty comics though  
TG: hell fuckin yes  
TG: so  
TG: gender  
TG: what even is it  
TG: and why does it make me cover my mirrors  
TG: and cut my hair with the kitchen scissors  
TG: i did the worst fuckin job cutting my own hair it looks like a birds nest  
TG: or a bird  
TG: just throwing this out there  
TG: but  
TG: what if  
TG: i could stop fighting being a girl  
TG: oh i dunno kid what if you could  
TG: what would really change  
TG: well maybe i wouldnt be so fuckin miserable dumbass  
TG: maybe there might be more friends in my life  
TG: if i could just suck it up and be a dumb girl  
TG: wait  
TG: yeah back the fuck up  
TG: im being a dick  
TG: maybe ive been thinking about things the wrong way  
TG: its easy to look at the way girls are supposed to be  
TG: and decide yeah thats not me  
TG: and go on and think  
TG: yeah girls are dumb  
TG: but thats bullshit  
TG: girls are fine  
TG: but  
TG: if girls could be different would that be ok  
TG: if girls could be like boys would that be ok  
TG: maybe for them  
TG: but thats still not right for me  
TG: i took a step up to that and turned away  
TG: shits weird  
TG: shits broken  
TG: or its ok but im  
TG: broken  
TG: or  
TG: i guess  
TG: not a girl  
TG: haha yeah look at that  
TG: im not a girl  
TG: turns out taking a stroll around my head was all i needed  
TG: just wandering around the striderbrain and oh look i fell over a big fuckin neon sign  
TG: that says "youre not a girl you dumbass"  
TG: wait that makes no sense why would a neon sign be at falling over height  
TG: never mind  
TG: haha i come here thinking theres ways to stop thinking i might be trans and accept being a girl  
TG: now look at me  
TG: five minutes alone with a hells of supportive empty chat room and i got myself all figured out  
TG:  
TG: so  
TG: what now  
TG: wheres the gender fairy come to tell me what to do next  
TG: a bit of guidance would be nice  
TG: am i a boy  
TG: is there something inbetween  
TG: help me fairy gendermother what happens next  
TG: get over here with your genderbonnet on and lay some wisdom on me  
TG: if i click my heels together three times do i get some self belief  
UU: well it coUld be worth a try!  
UU: bUt i find talking things oUt with a friend is the best way forward. ^u^  
TG: fuck  
TG: youre not my fairy gendermother  
TG: i thought you were a bot  
TG: uh  
  
turntechGodhead [TG] left channel TransChat  
  
UU: :u


End file.
